Up, Up, and Away...Far Away

Sitting in Charles de Gaulle Airport Awaiting flight to Montpellier

Quote: “The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” -Unknown

Observations so far:

1.       I’m allergic to the word goodbye and any synonyms such as “see ya later,” “see ya soon,” “tah tah for now,” etc.: My throat tends to constrict uncontrollably, I get the sensation of a huge ball rolling around in my airway, and large tears usually stream, without any possibility of constraint, down my face. I will admit that it is a slightly embarrassing allergy and one that I used to try to hide from the people whose impending absence caused this reaction. But recently (as in, while in Lambert Airport with my mom procrastinating the fast approaching“goodbye” allergen) I decided it was pointless, and actually rather foolish to even attempt to hide this. Why suppress this reaction that really only proves how deeply and truly you love someone and how sincerely you will miss seeing them for any given amount of time? And so, with that conclusion, I let the tears flow in the "last stop travel shop" conveniently located immediately before the line for security. And eventually, I was forced to mutter the words “Well two months isn’t that long!” with as much reassurance (for both me and my mom) that I could muster. Apparently that phrase is also in the family of goodbye allergens because I had the same adverse reaction to that one as I did to all of the others.

Quote: “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” –The ever insightful Winnie the Pooh

2.       I have always and will always despise security. It must be another allergy. My immune system has clearly not adapted to airport environments. The symptoms of my security allergy are a bit different, though I tend to still shed some sporadic tears throughout the ten minute wait. But mostly security lines cause me to break out in a cold sweat, to have miniature panic attacks approximately every 30 seconds in the fear that I am unknowingly or accidentally carrying something that will mark me a suspect of some sort of terrorist attack, and to suffer from irrepressible foot shaking, tapping, and twisting. The relief once making it through is indescribable.

Quote: “Always remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Winnie the Pooh (they won’t all be from Pooh Bear, but he does have many very wonderful quotes and he is my favorite bear in all of the 100 acre woods!)

3.       There are two major factors that play into my apprehensions as I prepare and begin to travel. The first is my fear/anxiety of what’s to come. I absolutely despise not “knowing.” That plays into a lot of factors of my life, but very much so when I am traveling to a new place, with new people, and a new a culture, and new everything else. I hate not knowing what to expect. In a way, it is very exciting and a small adrenaline rush usually accompanies my fear of the unknown, but mainly, it is nerve-wracking and exhausting. My constant tendency to play out worst case scenarios in my head certainly does not help my case at all.
The second major factor is traveling by myself. It is not the matter of being alone that scares me. In fact, I tend to enjoy my personal space and “alone time,” but when embarking on such an “adventure” as my last three trips have all been, there is always a very large part of me that wishes I had a person with which to share all of the memories. I can handle being alone, but I really don’t like feeling lonely. And after taking a long trip in a faraway place all by one’s self, the loneliness is actually increased upon returning home because the only person there to actively share in the memories is you; no matter how well anyone else listens or how many pictures they look at, there is no one there that experienced what you experienced or felt what you felt. I’m not throwing myself a pity party and I’m not saying I’m the only one who has felt like this; in fact, I believe there are very many people who feel like this. I also think they would most likely agree that this may be the single most difficult part of any longs trips taken alone. Some people may find it refreshing and a welcomed escape from the life they know, but for me, I find myself frequently thinking of how much I wish my loved ones back home could be here to share in my experiences. I guess that, once again, proves how fond I am of the people in the life!

Quote: “I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” – Oscar Wilde

Quote 2: “Happiness is only real when shared.” –Into the Wild

4.       Babies that decide they want to scream and cry and throw tantrums and jump up and down on the seats of the plane are very, very difficult to tolerate for 8 hours.

You can quote me on that one.

5.       The people working airport security and customs at Charles de Gaulle are much, much more friendly and laid back than in the states. In fact, I made friends with the customs man and had a nice (short and simple) little chat with him in French. I told him I loved France, so he let me through! Also, CDG is (or at least seems) absolutely huge (which would make sense since it is the main airport in Paris), but I didn’t get lost once! And a four hour layover is the perfect amount of time to get in my first blog post!

Quote: “Travel is about the gorgeous feeling of teetering in the unknown.”

Au revoir!